Christmas Carols - The Best Of

Unfortunately, we have to endure some pretty awful Christmas carols throughout this season. Thankfully, there are enough fantastic Christmas songs to make up for the terrible ones. But as it's probably obvious to all of you,  how on earth would you know which ones are the good ones if you didn't have me and this wonderful blog?? So here it is. The best of the best. The elite. The top dogs. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Best Songs of the Season. Hold on a sec. A couple quick notes: these are in no particular order and I'm not just listing the best songs, but the best versions of said songs. Enjoy!

"Where Are You Christmas?" - Faith Hill
Faith Hill is just fantastic. The song is solid. It has classic Christmas lyrics about the world changing, and the singer rearranging. And the woman puts in two freaking modulations (key changes for the rest of you). So she automatically makes the list with this song.
Listen to the song here

"White Christmas" - Bing Crosby
If you don't absolutely love this song, then you have the looks of Ebenezer Scrooge, the heart of the Grinch (pre-growth), and the nastiness of Harry Lyme. Bing Crosby is incredible. One of the best singers of all time. And "White Christmas is the PERFECT Christmas song. P.S. It's disgusting that this blog website thinks that "Bing" is spelled wrong. What an insult.
Listen to the song here

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" - Dean Martin
Another amazing singer. When Dean Martin croons, the ladies swoon. This song is great because I'm a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of being by a warm fire, cuddled up with the girl of my dreams, watching the snow fall outside.
Listen to the song here

"The Christmas Song" - Nat King Cole
This song brings in elements of both "White Christmas" and "Baby, It's Cold Outside". It's aptly titled "The Christmas Song" because it's the most Christmasy (not a word, I know) song out there. And Nat King Cole is the man. I love his voice. Plus, his name is "Nat".
Listen to the song here

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" - Bruce Springsteen
You just got to love this version. The Boss once again proves why he's the boss. The song is fun, fast, and enjoyable. "Hey Clarence, were you good this year so you can get a new saxophone?" Love it.
Listen to the song here

"Holly Jolly Christmas" - Burl Ives
Burl Ives as Sam the Snowman singing this song is awesome. The best version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ends with this song. Just classic, good old-fashioned Christmas enjoyment.
Listen to the song here

"You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" - Thurl Ravenscroft
First off, if you didn't know that the dude that sings this song has a name of "Thurl", you do now. What a great name! It's even better than Burl! How the Grinch Stole Christmas is one of the best flicks ever (the animated version with Boris Karloff). And I love using the phrase "I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole".
Listen to the song here

"Run Rudolph Run" - Chuck Berry
Another super fun song. Chuck Berry is the one the best rockers ever (also one of the first). I listen to this song year round.
Listen to the song here

"Little Saint Nick" - The Beach Boys
I love the Beach Boys' sound. Little Saint Nick is a light, fun carol and the fact that the Beach Boys wrote a Christmas song (they've actually written several) is just great.
Listen to the song here

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Judy Garland
I'm glad this made the list because there is a shortage of female artists on this list. But how could Judy not make it? The song is great on its own, first of all, but when Judy sings it, it transports the song to another level. You just have to close your eyes and listen to Judy sing to you.
Listen to the song here

"O Come Let Us Adore Him" - Hillsong
This is probably my favorite religious Christmas song. Hillsong just came out with their version and it's incredible. The song is really powerful. I'm not entirely sure why this is considered a Christmas carol, but I don't care. It's simple, yet so incredibly moving.
Listen to the song here

"Let it Snow" - Frank Sinatra
How could I not put a Christmas carol sung by old Blue Eyes? It would of been a travesty. And it doesn't matter which one. Frank's amazing regardless.
Listen to the song here.

"Beautiful World" - Jim Brickman
Whenever I watch Jim Brickman live, I can't help but smile. The way he plays and sings makes me believe that everything is going to be OK. Like I never have to worry again. "Beautiful World" has incredible lyrics as well. Just an all-around fantastic song.
Listen to the song here.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this and listening to the music as I did writing it. Have a very merry Christmas!

The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

These guys should of never been allowed to record a Christmas song

Bing Crosby first recorded "White Christmas" in 1942. 70 years later and it's still deemed one of the greatest, most popular Christmas songs of all time. But why is that? Why is "White Christmas" so eternal, so legendary, so timeless? First reason: Irving Berlin is awesome. He wrote about the perfect Christmas setting in a way no one else can. He's a brilliant songwriter. Second reason: Bing Crosby sings it. And let's face it: Bing is king. No one compares. There is nothing better than relaxing in front of the fire on a blustery Christmas Eve night with your loved ones, with Bing softly crooning in the background, and a mug of steaming hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.

Unfortunately, they don't make 'em like they used to. Radio stations: this is your fault. The audacity you have for allowing horrific music to grace the public airways! Your taste in music can be quite appalling. Granted, it's not like we have this unlimited pool of Christmas songs to draw from to play night and day from Thanksgiving to Christmas. I'm sure the radio stations get a little desperate to mix it up a bit and not be too repetitive. Of course if it was up to me, I have a list of about 20 songs that they could play on repeat for the entire holiday season, and I'd be perfectly content. As for all the other Christmas tunes, we're better off leaving them on the proverbial shelf.

But for some songs, it wouldn't be enough to just "leave them on the shelf." Some songs need to be completely removed from the face of the earth. Some songs are so bad, I want a neurosurgeon to surgically remove any memory I have of ever listening to them. You know how people pray for their own "Christmas miracle"? Well, my Christmas miracle is to wake up to a world where the good Lord himself has destroyed any and all traces of these atrocious, awful, wanna-be Christmas carols.

You're probably wondering which songs I'm referring to. Well I took the time and pleasure to put them in a nice list here for you. That way, you can take steps to avoid these at all possible. You can thank me later. *Editor's Note: These are not in any particular order or ranking. They're all equally irritating.

"Santa Baby" - Madonna
This was actually written in the 50's for Eartha Kitt to sing. And Eartha is awesome. But then Madonna was born. I'm pretty sure the world ended. If it didn't end then, it ended in 1987 when Madonna recorded her version of "Santa Baby." Madonna attempts to mimic the style of Marilyn Monroe and fails miserably. What's worse is that there are many people who legitimately believe it's Marilyn singing. What an insult! No one can emulate Marilyn. If Michelle Williams can't do it right, then Madonna certainly can't. The song comes off as whiny, annoying, and grating on my precious ears.
Listen to the song here.

"Same Old Lang Syne" - Dan Fogelberg
Just because a song mentions Christmas Eve or snow, it doesn't mean it's a Christmas song. This song is way too depressing. It's about some dude who runs into an old flame at Tops (or Wegmans, if you're a snob), they chat it up for a few hours, and then go their separate ways. Probably the lamest thing I have heard in my entire life. Why couldn't they rekindle the love? Or do what most people do and ignore each other in the cereal aisle, hoping the other person doesn't say anything! To top it off, good old Dan Fogelberg ends the song singing how the "snow turns into rain." Dan should have his vocal cords removed so he can never sing again.
Listen to the song here.

"Last Christmas" - Wham!
Everything about this song screams, "I had a one-night stand with a call-girl on Christmas Day and couldn't afford to keep her any longer. This year, I'm purchasing a mail-order bride from PersianWifeFinder.com." And that's all I have to say about that.
Listen to the song here.

"Do They Know it's Christmastime?" - Band-Aid
To enlighten you, this is the song where Bono and like 50 other big name artists in the 80's got together to sing a song to raise awareness of the hunger issue in Africa. Good intentions, but the lyrics are awful. You've heard the song a million times, but you've probably never really listened to it. So read the lyrics and you'll see why. If you're too lazy to do that, I'll just tell you. Bono is bragging that we have it better in America than the Africans do. It's kind of awkward. And yet hilarious. But regardless of how entertaining it is, it makes for a god-awful Christmas carol.
Listen to the song here.

"The 12 Pains of Christmas" - Bob Rivers
Just what we need. A Christmas carol that points out the supposed frustrating moments of the holidays. I thought carols were supposed to bring Christmas cheer, not take it away. This song is annoying, pathetic, and sung by people who clearly have zero talent. It's not even that original. But then again, most parodies aren't.
Listen to the song here.

"Wonderful Christmastime" - Paul McCartney
I'm so brave to be bashing a Paul McCartney song. This song is just downright annoying. The way he sings, "simply having a wonderful Christmastime" over and over again, makes me want to never celebrate Christmas again.
Listen to the song here.

"Christmas Shoes" - Newsong
I know, how dare I criticize a song that mentions Jesus, dying people, and cute kids! But someone needs to say it. And I'll gladly do it. While I love listening to and singing this song, and the Rob Lowe movie is something everyone should watch (HA), I do it all to make fun of it relentlessly. It is so cheesy and way over the top. It takes a great concept and beats it to an ugly, bloody pulp. The song is so bad, I envy the mother mentioned in the song because she dies and is spared ever having to hear the song. The rest of us are left to suffer. To top it off, they have a bunch of kids singing the ending. It's like putting salt on an open wound. I hate you, Newsong.
Listen to the song here.

Stay tuned to an upcoming, less ranting, more raving post about the best Christmas songs ever. But in the meantime, give me some feedback! Did I miss something? Do you actually love a song on this list? Please say no...