The Newsboys Broke My Heart

DISCLAIMER: This blog post will be mentioning mostly old-school Christian music trivia. I apologize if you have no idea who or what I'm talking about, or more likely, could care less. But if you decide to plunge into this post, your experience will be much more enjoyable if you follow all of the hyperlinks. Even if you think you know what I'm talking about, click them anyway. I put a lot of work in those. Good luck!

PROLOGUE

The good Lord always said to forgive those who've wronged you. I've heard countless messages on how important it is to forgive and move on. Messages on how bitterness and resentment can eat away at you from the inside and leave nothing left, but a shell of who you once were.

That being said, I will never forgive the Newsboys for what they did. And by never, I mean never. I am astoundingly bitter and angry towards them. I am shocked and offended and hurt. And I'm 75% certain Jesus hasn't forgiven them either. I will carry this resentment with me to the grave.

CHAPTER 1: THE STORY

Who are the Newsboys? Good question. Here's their Wikipedia page. If you're too lazy, then just know that they're a Christian rock group from Australia that got their start in the '80's and are still going strong. But they're more than just a band. These guys have been a staple, a cornerstone, in the Christian music community since they started. Plus, they're not just a cornerstone in the overall Christian community but an incredible influence on me personally.



My good-looking parents

I adored the Newsboys. In fact, they were the first "real" band I became a fan of. I remember being in elementary school where the only music I listened to was Psalty's Kids Praise and Mr. Donut Man. That stuff was awesome by the way. It was all pre-VeggieTales. But then I discovered "big people" music. Music that wasn't sung by a group of five year-olds. And the first cassette I got from the wonderful Donald and Karen Hirtzel? The Newsboys' "Going Public" album. The one with "Shine" on it. That album was freaking awesome.

As I began to immerse myself into music, I started going to concerts as well. And one of the first concerts I ever went to? Newsboys at Kingdom Bound. I was like 13 and it was amazing. I was in awe. They were incredible both in the studio and live. I had every single album of theirs. Every single one. Correction: my little brother technically owned the "Not Ashamed" album, but we shared it.

CHAPTER 2: THE GLORY DAYS

I wish I could describe to you how great it was to be a fan of the Newsboys in the '90's and early 2000's. They were so awesome. They could do no wrong. I even liked their "Love Liberty Disco" album. If you had to listen to one song by the Newsboys, this is it:

Probably their best song ever. Sung by their bassist, Phil Joel. Which reminds me of another way this band had an impact on my life. I started learning the bass guitar when I was 16 and Phil Joel was my inspiration. He was so cool (still is). He was a surfer dude, he'd play bass barefoot on stage, and held the bass like it was a double bass. I emulated him (without the long hair) perfectly. I wanted to be just like him. I'll never forget one show I went to where he sang a medley of Entertaining Angels and Jason Upton's "No Sacrifice." It was life-changing.

You're probably wondering, if this band was so great, what on earth happened? Well, let me tell you. It all started the day Peter Furler left.

Peter Furler was with the band from its inception (sans Leo DiCaprio). He was their drummer and then when the original lead singer, John James, left, Furler stepped up to the microphone (pun intended). And the Newsboys continued to be awesome. In fact, I believe they got better. In the Peter Furler era, their best albums came out, including "Thrive" and "Step Up to The Microphone".

Needless to say, I was devastated when Peter Furler said he would be stepping down. I may have cried a little. But I was optimistic. I mean, this is the Newsboys were talking about here. They're incredible. They'll have a brilliant solution and continue to be awesome... ....right?

CHAPTER 3: THE DOWNFALL

Boy, was I wrong.

They picked Michael Tait to be the front man. Yes, that Michael Tait. As in, dc Talk's Michael Tait. I won't get into dc Talk here. That's a blog post for another day. Plus, it's too depressing to think about. I listen to the "Jesus Freak" album religiously (pun intended once again) even to this day. But to enlighten you, dc Talk was another juggernaut of a Christian rock group. They were huge, just like the Newsboys. But the beauty of these two bands was that they were separate. There were the Newsboys and then there was dc Talk. Not together. Never together. It's like putting Mick Jagger and David Bowie together. It should never, ever happen. Ever.

But they did it anyway. And it was awful. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Tait is a great guy. But there's a reason why he was the third-most important member out the the three members of dc Talk. It's like when A.J. from the Backstreet Boys went solo. No one cared. Have any of you heard Tait's solo work? Of course not. You have better things to do, like file your nails or organize your sock drawer.

So now we have the latest version of the Newsboys. As a small blessing, Peter Furler came back as a producer and to aid in songwriting, but that's it. No singing or playing. And instead we have a 45 year-old in tight leather pants trying to sing the Breakfast Song. It's insulting. I won't even try to find a video of him singing it because I'm pretty sure God will smite me for doing so. And the albums they've come out with in the last couple of years have been sub-par. They're lacking the brilliant metaphors and wit that we have come to expect out of this group. And the stage presence they had is gone as well. It seems that now they rely more on their reputation to carry them along than anything else. Simply put, Tait tries too hard and fails miserably.

EPILOGUE

Well, there you have it. And now on with some damage control. I want to apologize first to my readers for having to endure my ranting. Second, I'm sorry, Michael Tait, for being so mean. But you should of known better. And when you leave the Newsboys, can you get dc Talk back together? Thanks. Third, I'm sorry, Newsboys, for refusing to listen to your music for the last three years. But I'm giving you the silent treatment like a 15 year-old girl would.

I'm holding onto hope because the Newsboys' long-time guitarist, Jody Davis, came back after a five-year hiatus, so maybe Peter Furler will do the same. Maybe the archangel, Gabriel, will come to him in a dream and tell him to stop being lame and get back up there and save the day. Please stand with me in fervent expectation.

Let's throw Thanksgiving a pity party

Let's face it, Thanksgiving got the holiday shaft.

Try to remember the time when you actually cared about Thanksgiving. When you actually cared about those poor Pilgrims coming over on the Mayflower, and then being starving, cold, and miserable, and then finally the Indians (excuse me, I mean Native Americans) coming to the rescue. And now, to commemorate the Native Americans (what a mouthful, is that why Chris Columbus called them Indians?) being awesome, we have a holiday. We learned that all in school, probably when we were like five years old, and it was cool because we got to spend the weeks before Thanksgiving drawing cornucopias, tracing our hands to make drawings of turkeys, making Pilgrim hats and paper feathers to stick in our hair, etc. Ah, the halcyon days of youth!

But once you get to an age where it looks ridiculous doing arts & crafts, it all goes down the tubes. Thanksgiving is no longer anything special.

For those of you who might want to argue with me, let's review what could possibly make Thanksgiving a great holiday. Here are some possibilities and why they're wrong:

1) Religion

It's not a religious holiday. Yeah, I know, the Pilgrims came to the new world to escape religious persecution. But Thanksgiving wasn't formed the day they stepped off the boat. It was founded on what happened after a horrific winter where everyone pretty much died. It's more of a celebration that they survived. Plus, no one goes to church on Thanksgiving. We either participate in the Turkey Trot, a Turkey Bowl, cook, or, if we're in NYC, attend the parade.

2) Santa Claus

We don't get presents. Which is not cool. Santa doesn't come on this day. Knowing this is almost as devastating as when I realized that Paul Revere does not come galloping on his horse into town to deliver presents on Independence Day.

3) Weather

In Buffalo, the weather always sucks on Thanksgiving. Rare is it where we can look out a window and see a beautiful, snow-covered landscape. I can remember only one year we actually had snow. And maybe one year where it was sunny and warm. Most of the time it's raining. And it's not a pleasant summer rain. It's a freezing, awful rain. Everything is muddy and gross and cold.

4) Music

There are no Thanksgiving songs. Seasonal songs don't count because most of them include snow and if you didn't skip #3, then you know that we don't get snow. In case you don't know what a seasonal song is, think of "Sleigh Ride".

5) Traditions

99% of American families have only two traditions with Thanksgiving. Food and football. Except those aren't traditions. This is America and that's all we do - eat food and watch football. Thanksgiving isn't any different. Now we just have an excuse to pig out and watch the Detroit Lions lose in the middle of the week.

6) Family

OK, I'll admit, it is nice to see the family, but that's just me. So many people I talk to don't stop complaining about having to see the in-laws or complaining about how many stops they need to make during the day. Plus, obviously, you will see them all in a month anyway for Christmas.

The bottom line is, because of these factors, no one really cares about Thanksgiving. We could of called it anything, as long as people can still eat & watch football on a random Thursday, we're all OK. And if Thanksgiving was so important, why on earth does it not get its own day, like Christmas? The third Thursday of November? Really?!?? The holiday really got boned on that one. At least Easter has a little logic involved. Something about a full moon, Lent, Jesus, vampires, or something. And who picked Thursday, anyway? Random.

All that being said, I'm glad we have Thanksgiving because I'm a pig, I like watching football, I like my family, and I still secretly draw turkeys using my hand as a stencil. And of course, there are always extenuating circumstances as to why maybe, in your specific situation, Thanksgiving is especially special. But for the collective America, it's safe to say that Thanksgiving got the shaft.

Why Facebook is destroying America (and the world)

So why is Facebook destroying everything we know and love?

One word: Accountability.

The biggest issue with Facebook is that no one is accountable for their actions on this blessed/cursed social networking site. People can just post, comment, link, like, tag, etc., etc., etc. whatever they want at any time they want, wherever they want to. And seldom are there repercussions for those actions.

I suppose if a dude posts that he got totally wasted last night, he might not nail that job interview the next day, or if the girl posts provocative photos, her father might ground her. That stuff is obvious. But what about the more seemingly trivial posts and comments. The ones that seem harmless. Who's watching out for those? No one. Absolutely no one.

What posts I'm talking about, you ask? Here's a list for you:

1) Any posts from someone who has seven more posts for the day. No one is that interesting. Please stop.
2) The dude who posts full chapters of the Bible. How about you just tell us the reference and we'll look it up ourselves.
3) The girl whose only posts are song lyrics. If you can't think of anything to say, log off.
4) The girl who comments on every post of every single friend she has, every day. You're trying way too hard and no one likes you.
5) The person who posts 50 pictures from the downtown drinking fest they were at last night. If there's anything more unattractive than you, it's you when you're drunk.
6) The person who comments on photos or posts from years ago. No one else wants to reminisce. You just brought up a time we probably all want to forget.
7) Girls whose only photos of themselves are with the "duckface." It is rarely, if ever, attractive. Just smile. You'll be surprised at how gorgeous girls can be if they would just smile.
7b) Guys who do the duckface. You need to be taken out back and shot
8) People who use Facebook to constantly gripe about every issue they have. If your grandmother is in the hospital, then yes, you can let us know. If you're fighting with your 7th boyfriend in the last 3 months, we could care less.
9) Disastrously bad spelling. You most likely have a full keyboard in front of you and some form of spellcheck. Type like someone who spent at least one day in school.

And my favorite...

10) People who put hashtags in their posts. I'll make this very simple for you people. HASHTAGS ARE FOR TWITTER. They don't work in Facebook (if you even know what they're for). So you can stop.

My last issue is for those that can say that they don't do any of the above, yet do something just as wrong. A wise man once said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." I'm calling out all you enablers out there. The ones that comment and applaud these wrongdoers, telling them that it's ok to use Facebook in such a delinquent way. It is the friends of these misusers of Facebook that have an obligation of holding them to a higher standard.

So to answer the question, who's holding these people accountable?

We all should.

FEEDBACK: Do you have another issue with how people use Facebook? Please share below!