The Newsboys Broke My Heart

DISCLAIMER: This blog post will be mentioning mostly old-school Christian music trivia. I apologize if you have no idea who or what I'm talking about, or more likely, could care less. But if you decide to plunge into this post, your experience will be much more enjoyable if you follow all of the hyperlinks. Even if you think you know what I'm talking about, click them anyway. I put a lot of work in those. Good luck!

PROLOGUE

The good Lord always said to forgive those who've wronged you. I've heard countless messages on how important it is to forgive and move on. Messages on how bitterness and resentment can eat away at you from the inside and leave nothing left, but a shell of who you once were.

That being said, I will never forgive the Newsboys for what they did. And by never, I mean never. I am astoundingly bitter and angry towards them. I am shocked and offended and hurt. And I'm 75% certain Jesus hasn't forgiven them either. I will carry this resentment with me to the grave.

CHAPTER 1: THE STORY

Who are the Newsboys? Good question. Here's their Wikipedia page. If you're too lazy, then just know that they're a Christian rock group from Australia that got their start in the '80's and are still going strong. But they're more than just a band. These guys have been a staple, a cornerstone, in the Christian music community since they started. Plus, they're not just a cornerstone in the overall Christian community but an incredible influence on me personally.



My good-looking parents

I adored the Newsboys. In fact, they were the first "real" band I became a fan of. I remember being in elementary school where the only music I listened to was Psalty's Kids Praise and Mr. Donut Man. That stuff was awesome by the way. It was all pre-VeggieTales. But then I discovered "big people" music. Music that wasn't sung by a group of five year-olds. And the first cassette I got from the wonderful Donald and Karen Hirtzel? The Newsboys' "Going Public" album. The one with "Shine" on it. That album was freaking awesome.

As I began to immerse myself into music, I started going to concerts as well. And one of the first concerts I ever went to? Newsboys at Kingdom Bound. I was like 13 and it was amazing. I was in awe. They were incredible both in the studio and live. I had every single album of theirs. Every single one. Correction: my little brother technically owned the "Not Ashamed" album, but we shared it.

CHAPTER 2: THE GLORY DAYS

I wish I could describe to you how great it was to be a fan of the Newsboys in the '90's and early 2000's. They were so awesome. They could do no wrong. I even liked their "Love Liberty Disco" album. If you had to listen to one song by the Newsboys, this is it:

Probably their best song ever. Sung by their bassist, Phil Joel. Which reminds me of another way this band had an impact on my life. I started learning the bass guitar when I was 16 and Phil Joel was my inspiration. He was so cool (still is). He was a surfer dude, he'd play bass barefoot on stage, and held the bass like it was a double bass. I emulated him (without the long hair) perfectly. I wanted to be just like him. I'll never forget one show I went to where he sang a medley of Entertaining Angels and Jason Upton's "No Sacrifice." It was life-changing.

You're probably wondering, if this band was so great, what on earth happened? Well, let me tell you. It all started the day Peter Furler left.

Peter Furler was with the band from its inception (sans Leo DiCaprio). He was their drummer and then when the original lead singer, John James, left, Furler stepped up to the microphone (pun intended). And the Newsboys continued to be awesome. In fact, I believe they got better. In the Peter Furler era, their best albums came out, including "Thrive" and "Step Up to The Microphone".

Needless to say, I was devastated when Peter Furler said he would be stepping down. I may have cried a little. But I was optimistic. I mean, this is the Newsboys were talking about here. They're incredible. They'll have a brilliant solution and continue to be awesome... ....right?

CHAPTER 3: THE DOWNFALL

Boy, was I wrong.

They picked Michael Tait to be the front man. Yes, that Michael Tait. As in, dc Talk's Michael Tait. I won't get into dc Talk here. That's a blog post for another day. Plus, it's too depressing to think about. I listen to the "Jesus Freak" album religiously (pun intended once again) even to this day. But to enlighten you, dc Talk was another juggernaut of a Christian rock group. They were huge, just like the Newsboys. But the beauty of these two bands was that they were separate. There were the Newsboys and then there was dc Talk. Not together. Never together. It's like putting Mick Jagger and David Bowie together. It should never, ever happen. Ever.

But they did it anyway. And it was awful. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Tait is a great guy. But there's a reason why he was the third-most important member out the the three members of dc Talk. It's like when A.J. from the Backstreet Boys went solo. No one cared. Have any of you heard Tait's solo work? Of course not. You have better things to do, like file your nails or organize your sock drawer.

So now we have the latest version of the Newsboys. As a small blessing, Peter Furler came back as a producer and to aid in songwriting, but that's it. No singing or playing. And instead we have a 45 year-old in tight leather pants trying to sing the Breakfast Song. It's insulting. I won't even try to find a video of him singing it because I'm pretty sure God will smite me for doing so. And the albums they've come out with in the last couple of years have been sub-par. They're lacking the brilliant metaphors and wit that we have come to expect out of this group. And the stage presence they had is gone as well. It seems that now they rely more on their reputation to carry them along than anything else. Simply put, Tait tries too hard and fails miserably.

EPILOGUE

Well, there you have it. And now on with some damage control. I want to apologize first to my readers for having to endure my ranting. Second, I'm sorry, Michael Tait, for being so mean. But you should of known better. And when you leave the Newsboys, can you get dc Talk back together? Thanks. Third, I'm sorry, Newsboys, for refusing to listen to your music for the last three years. But I'm giving you the silent treatment like a 15 year-old girl would.

I'm holding onto hope because the Newsboys' long-time guitarist, Jody Davis, came back after a five-year hiatus, so maybe Peter Furler will do the same. Maybe the archangel, Gabriel, will come to him in a dream and tell him to stop being lame and get back up there and save the day. Please stand with me in fervent expectation.

Let's throw Thanksgiving a pity party

Let's face it, Thanksgiving got the holiday shaft.

Try to remember the time when you actually cared about Thanksgiving. When you actually cared about those poor Pilgrims coming over on the Mayflower, and then being starving, cold, and miserable, and then finally the Indians (excuse me, I mean Native Americans) coming to the rescue. And now, to commemorate the Native Americans (what a mouthful, is that why Chris Columbus called them Indians?) being awesome, we have a holiday. We learned that all in school, probably when we were like five years old, and it was cool because we got to spend the weeks before Thanksgiving drawing cornucopias, tracing our hands to make drawings of turkeys, making Pilgrim hats and paper feathers to stick in our hair, etc. Ah, the halcyon days of youth!

But once you get to an age where it looks ridiculous doing arts & crafts, it all goes down the tubes. Thanksgiving is no longer anything special.

For those of you who might want to argue with me, let's review what could possibly make Thanksgiving a great holiday. Here are some possibilities and why they're wrong:

1) Religion

It's not a religious holiday. Yeah, I know, the Pilgrims came to the new world to escape religious persecution. But Thanksgiving wasn't formed the day they stepped off the boat. It was founded on what happened after a horrific winter where everyone pretty much died. It's more of a celebration that they survived. Plus, no one goes to church on Thanksgiving. We either participate in the Turkey Trot, a Turkey Bowl, cook, or, if we're in NYC, attend the parade.

2) Santa Claus

We don't get presents. Which is not cool. Santa doesn't come on this day. Knowing this is almost as devastating as when I realized that Paul Revere does not come galloping on his horse into town to deliver presents on Independence Day.

3) Weather

In Buffalo, the weather always sucks on Thanksgiving. Rare is it where we can look out a window and see a beautiful, snow-covered landscape. I can remember only one year we actually had snow. And maybe one year where it was sunny and warm. Most of the time it's raining. And it's not a pleasant summer rain. It's a freezing, awful rain. Everything is muddy and gross and cold.

4) Music

There are no Thanksgiving songs. Seasonal songs don't count because most of them include snow and if you didn't skip #3, then you know that we don't get snow. In case you don't know what a seasonal song is, think of "Sleigh Ride".

5) Traditions

99% of American families have only two traditions with Thanksgiving. Food and football. Except those aren't traditions. This is America and that's all we do - eat food and watch football. Thanksgiving isn't any different. Now we just have an excuse to pig out and watch the Detroit Lions lose in the middle of the week.

6) Family

OK, I'll admit, it is nice to see the family, but that's just me. So many people I talk to don't stop complaining about having to see the in-laws or complaining about how many stops they need to make during the day. Plus, obviously, you will see them all in a month anyway for Christmas.

The bottom line is, because of these factors, no one really cares about Thanksgiving. We could of called it anything, as long as people can still eat & watch football on a random Thursday, we're all OK. And if Thanksgiving was so important, why on earth does it not get its own day, like Christmas? The third Thursday of November? Really?!?? The holiday really got boned on that one. At least Easter has a little logic involved. Something about a full moon, Lent, Jesus, vampires, or something. And who picked Thursday, anyway? Random.

All that being said, I'm glad we have Thanksgiving because I'm a pig, I like watching football, I like my family, and I still secretly draw turkeys using my hand as a stencil. And of course, there are always extenuating circumstances as to why maybe, in your specific situation, Thanksgiving is especially special. But for the collective America, it's safe to say that Thanksgiving got the shaft.

The Best and Worst Christmas Films Ever

It's about a week until Thanksgiving, so you know what that means! It's Christmastime! But really, it is. Local Buffalo radio stations like 102.5 and 96.1 have been playing seasonal music for a couple of weeks now, every retail store in America is decked out in decorations, homeowners are beginning to decorate their houses, etc, etc. And of course this stirs up some anger and irritation in people where they begin to rant and rave about how "it's too early" and "it's not even Thanksgiving yet". But not me. Personally, I love listening to Christmas music all year round. A close friend and I have been notorious for driving around Buffalo, belting out Faith Hill's "Where Are You Christmas" in July. 

I remember the movie Garden State with Zach Braff (what ever happened to him anyway?), where Natalie Portman's (the girl who turns into a swan in a later movie) character has a Christmas tree up at her house all year. That's my kind of girl. I love this time of year. So if the world starts early with Christmas, I'm on board.

But I digress. I have a purpose for this post, I truly do. Just bear with me.  Let's say that we live in a cruel, terrible world where an ordinary citizen is only allowed to watch a total of three Christmas movies each holiday season. OK, OK, stop weeping. It's merely a hypothetical situation. In the real world, we have ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas (yay!). So no worries. But back to imaginary land... You have to pick 3 movies. That's it. What would you choose? You don't have to worry because I have incredible taste in Christmas films. Below is the absolute best three Christmas movies of all time. And for good measure, below is also the absolute worst three Christmas movies of all time. And trust me, the good ones are great, and the bad ones are god-awful.

P.S. These are also Jesus' top 3 and bottom 3, so you can't argue with me. He told me himself.

THE BEST

3) The Santa Clause
This movie is fantastic. Tim Allen at his best (when he's not Buzz Lightyear). The entire movie is hilarious and is universal. As much as I loved it as a kid, I know I will love it just as much as a middle-aged man. This is the movie that my brother would beg for us to watch when it was his turn to pick the movie. And that was in June. And we were totally OK with it. If you don't like this movie, you probably don't have any friends.
Watch the trailer here

2) Elf
This movie was a pleasant surprise. It has been a long time since a great Christmas movie has come out before Elf did. In fact, I believe the last great film was #3 on our list. And that's a nine year difference. And Jon Favreau (the man behind the Iron Man movies) blesses us with this instant classic. Elf is freaking amazing. Will Ferrell is a genius actor. He was absolutely perfect for the role. And getting Sonny Corleone, I mean, James Caan, in it was also a brilliant move. I could outline some of the best scenes, but there are too many. A friend and I were quoting this movie together and laughing just thinking about the scenes. That's how good it is. This movie will be a timeless classic for many, many years. Just like #1 on the list.
Watch the trailer here

1) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
OK, just to clarify which Rudolph movie I'm talking about, this is the 1964 stop-motion TV special with Burl Ives as Sam the Snowman. The other ones, I am proud to say, I have never seen. And I don't plan to. Because this version, the Burl Ives one, is 47 years old and is as amazing today as I'm sure it was when my father saw it when it first aired (because he's old).  Plus it has Burl in it. And Burl is fantastic. I will have this a movie my kids see when I'm a parent and I hope they continue the tradition.
Watch clips here

Because you all will complain, here are some honorable mentions: National Lampoon Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, It's A Wonderful Life, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, White Christmas, and A Muppet's Christmas Carol.

THE WORST

3) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure.
For the record, the longer the title, the worse the movie will be. It never fails. Case in point: this wanna-be Christmas flick. Chevy Chase intelligently stayed away from it and so the starring role went to Randy Quaid (the crazy pilot from Independence Day). I never saw it (thank the dear Lord), but I have heard from a trusted source that it's pretty darn bad. So I will continue to stay away from it.

Watch the trailer here. Oh wait never mind. The movie was so bad, I can't even find a trailer video for it.

2) Fred Claus
Most of you probably haven't seen this. Good for you. It's got Paul Giamatti playing Santa and Vince Vaughn playing his idiot brother. And speaking of idiots, this movie idiotic. It's so lame. The comedy is few and far in-between. I can't believe Rachel Weisz wanted to do this and yet wouldn't do a third Mummy movie (I still haven't forgiven her for that).
Watch the trailer here

1) Eight Crazy Nights
Let's just forget that this is technically a Hanukkah movie. It's still the same season. Question: What do you get when you add an animated movie, a musical, and Adam Sandler?  Answer: A crappy movie. The movie is crude, dirty, and pointless. And it's not even funny. It's a complete waste of time. And the animation drew the Adam Sandler character to look like the actual Adam Sandler. Didn't the creators of A Scanner Darkly do the same thing? And look how that turned out! They never learn...
Watch the trailer here

Some honorable mentions: Frosty Returns, Bad Santa, Jack Frost, Christmas with the Kranks, and Four Christmases.

Now you know which movies to watch this season, and which movies to buy DVD copies of and then burn ceremoniously in your backyard. Let me know if I missed something or if you actually think that Fred Claus was funny (because it wasn't).

Christian Artists You Should Be Listening To

Alright folks, this is for all you Christian music enthusiasts who've been living under rocks for the last year. Below, I listed some Christian music artists, their latest albums, and the top songs from those albums that you should be listening to. Some of these artists you've heard, some you haven't, and some you've heard of but never cared to check them out. But now I'm telling you to. You have no choice. So get out a pen and paper, and write this all down, then head over to iTunes and download away! Or, if you're old, get in your car and drive to Bender's Christian Supplies to get the cassette tape. Whatever works for you!

1) Hillsong United - Aftermath
By now, we all know who these guys are. They're a staple in the Christian music industry. The awesome thing is, their latest album, "Aftermath", is undoubtedly their best yet. I have a hard time picking out just 1 or 2 songs to really listen to because it's all amazing. But check out "Rhythms of Grace", "Awakening", and "Like an Avalanche". And be ready to have your mind blown because it's a tad different from the United you're used to.

2) Elevation Worship - Kingdom Come

First off, I'm super proud of Love Joy Church for knowing who these guys are. We're so hip! Love Joy's worship team has done the song "Sun Stand Still" that coincides with the book we're all reading. But seriously, the band is incredible. The CD is really powerful. The top 2 songs to check out: "The Church" and "Give Me Faith". I love their style and the lyrics are really powerful.

3) David Crowder Band - Church Music
If you never got on the DC*B bandwagon before now, shame on you. I'm disappointed. But you can get back in my good graces if you start listening to them right now. And since they're breaking up, you have a lot of catching up to do. And they're pulling out all the stops in their final albums. "Church Music" was incredible and besides their Christmas album, there will be one more coming out next year, titled "Give Us Rest (A Requiem Mass in C [The Happiest of All Keys])". I've never been more pumped for an album to come out! Songs to check out on the "Church Music" album: "SMS (Shine)", "Alleluia, Sing", and "Oh, Happiness".

4) Gungor - Ghosts Upon the Earth
Ever since Michael Gungor went cool and changed his band's name from The Michael Gungor Band to simply Gungor, they've come out with some incredible stuff. Their latest album is even better than last year's, "Beautiful Things". And from last year's album, check out the song "Beautiful Things". From "Ghosts", listen to "This is Not the End" and "When Death Dies".

5) John Mark McMillan - Economy
Alright you psychos, it's time to stop being obsessed with JMM's hit single, "How He Loves". Seriously, it's gone too far. Granted, it's an amazing song, but I swear, if I hear one more cover of it , I'll go ballistic. So let's be mature adults, and move on. So you have to listen to his latest, "Economy." It is so freaking good. JMM is one of the best songwriters I have ever heard. The song to listen to? "Sheet of Night". (P.S. the best cover of "How He Loves" is DC*B's)

6) Jon Foreman - Any of his "Seasons" EPs
OK, so this is kind of old. These EPs came out almost 4 years ago, but I feel bad because no one knows about them. Everyone loves Switchfoot and rightly so. They're an incredible band. But their lead singer, Jon Foreman, has done some awesome solo work. They have a folksy, mellow sound to them, and the songwriting is phenomenal. I love the song "Equally Skilled".

7) United Pursuit Band - In the Night Season
This band is mind-blowing. Their songwriting, their passion, and their talent is incredible. I thought I was alone in the world in knowing who these guys were and then I met someone very cool over the summer who knew them better than me! It was at that moment that I knew that everything would be OK. This whole album is awesome but definitely check out "Kingdom". And while you're at it, try to find "Fill Me Up" because it's their best song ever and I can't find it anywhere to download. It's very sad. But not too sad because the music I can download is freaking awesome.

8) Brian and Katie Torwalt - Here On Earth

So I've known about these guys for about a day. And I love them. Incredibly talented and anointed. I'm not surprised that they're under the Jesus Culture Music record label. And it makes me want to marry a girl who can sing for the sole purpose of doing something like this. It's selfish, I know. The two songs I'm loving off the album are "Glorious" and "He is Faithful".

Ladies and gentlemen, don't be afraid of change. Jesus won't hate you if you suspend your overuse of albums from 2003 (or 1993) and if you say goodbye to Michael W. Smith, Don Moen, and Chris Tomlin (at least temporarily). Stay up with the times, realize that there is incredible music out there to be discovered, and download like crazy! (Or buy CDs, but c'mon, who does that anymore?)



Let me know if I missed something amazing!